literature

Ichiruki Week - Day 7 - OBSESSION

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Rukia's leaving. Packing things into bags, concentrating, with a slight frown, on her future. It is, Byakuya reminds himself, what he has always wanted for her. She's dwelt too much in the past, on the things that might have been different. Lifetimes here last too long for regrets. She needs to move on, so why does he feel so ill at ease, watching her from the doorway.

"You can't ask him to die for you." The words have left his mouth before he realises he intends to say them. How unlike him, he thinks.

She looks up, startled, but more by his presence than his outburst. She's been so busy that she failed to notice his approach. How unlike her.

A quick bow is all the greeting she affords. Perhaps he should feel nostalgia for the times when she used to be more attentive and show him full respects. But not really. Time has evened up the differences between them. If she is less formal with him now, it is only because she trusts that he will not reprimand her. He won't. He prefers her this way.

"Who?"

"The human. You cannot ask him to follow you into this world."

"I have not, Nii-sama." Her frown deepens and she returns to packing. "I have told him farewell."

"You told him the duration of the mission?" He has read her orders. She will be away for decades, possibly more than a century. The boy will be gone. Byakuya has supported her in this decision. He has often considered how things will be without her here, without her presence colouring the house, but in his heart, he knows she will do well. She is stronger now. She needs to make her mark. More recently though, he has thought often of the boy whom she spoke of frequently until a week ago, when she visited the human world for the last time.

"I told him he won't see me again."

"Why?"

"How could he?" She glances up and for an awful moment he thinks he sees something like hope.

"He could not, if you choose to take this mission." There is a silence. It's none of his business, but he is curious now: "What did he say?"

"He said good-bye," she says: "He did not request that I stay."

The boy, it turns out, is stupid.

Byakuya sighs and considers leaving. He will bid her farewell tomorrow and she will leave. Yet she will return within his lifetime at least, stronger and bolder than before. She will lead men into war. She will bring honour to his family on a distant battlefield. He wants these things for her, and yet, he recalls…..

A time, nearly sixty years ago, when she walked away from her old life into his, leaving the academy and her pauper's existence, but, with them, childhood friends. It wasn't until some five decades later that he was to discover that Renji had once been her closest companion. Right up until she told him thanks, and good-bye. She never looked back.

Byakuya recalls a time more recently when he led her, in disgrace, back to Soul Society. She turned back at the gate to her own world and told the human boy not to follow. I will never forgive you, she said. He followed anyway. Ichigo is nothing if not stubborn. But Rukia…..

Rukia is always walking away.

Byakuya considers this. The boy is stupid. The boy is coarse. The boy is unsuitable. The boy is….. her obsession. All she ever speaks about; the one thing that makes her smile.

He slips into the room. She hesitates, watching him. Byakuya does not relish this task.

"If you make it impossible, then he cannot come after you."

"What?" she gasps. Well, there it is, laid bare. He could have asked someone else to tell her, but Renji would likely mess things up. He's done so once before. Ichigo – well, he's young. Sometimes you need a little experience to recognise exactly what you're losing:

"I believe you should reconsider."

"Nii-sama, with the greatest respects, I am capable of undertaking this mission. I am ready. I trust Ukitake-taichou when he says that my skills are" –

"I am not questioning your skills, Rukia. Only your motivations."

"I cannot stay!"

She throws the words at him so suddenly that he is taken aback. Then all at once her gaze has dropped again. Sometimes, he wishes she would shout more. He sees things he never would have guessed at: he sees her hopes, her passions, flashing in her eyes. She gives herself up, little by little in her anger.

"If you wish never to see him again, then you must leave. But I do not believe that is the case. You wish to see him, more and more, and that frightens you."

"You said yourself, I cannot ask him to die for me. He would forget me and all the things we are; yet, he can come here in no other form but death." Byakuya waits. There are ways; there are means. Ichigo's father chose to forsake the life of a shinigami. He chose mortality. She will realise. She will choose. She looks up: "I cannot go to he human world."

"I will not stop you."

The longest silence is the breath between his last word and her first step, then, all at once, she has crossed to him and grasped his hand in her own. He thinks this is gratitude; he has let her go. Her hand squeezing his. So slight by comparison. Yet fiercely strong, crushing him.

"All I have is here, Nii-sama. All I am is here." It takes him a moment to realise what she has said, that she has not asked to leave. "So you see," she says, her eyes bright and sad: "There's no future, and that's why I have to go."

"No," he says and she hesitates at something in his voice. "You're right. There is no future." He sees her hope dissolve. "The greatest lie I told Hisana was that there would be such a thing. Now I know, there is no future and no certainty. If someone had told me that, back before I married her, perhaps I would have chosen instead to save us both the pain. The choice that you are making, Rukia." She remains standing before him, hands curled into fists. "Yes, I think I would have chosen to spare us."

"Thank you, Nii-sama, I" –

"But I am glad I never had that choice. There is not a single moment I regret and there is nothing I would change. I had the time I had with her. It is not cheapened by brevity or wishes unfulfilled. It is what it is – the most precious thing I have." He takes a sharp breath before continuing, more softly: "There is no future. You are right. All that you are is here. All that you are is now."

She is quiet. Thoughtful. Eyes lidded and her lips tight in a way that almost makes him think she will cry, though he knows her better than that. In the end, she says:

"What would you have me do, Nii-sama?"

"I daresay that he is waiting for you."
******************************************************************************************

It's bright and warm in the human world and she runs lightly over the grass verge by the riverside. Ichigo is standing where they often met after school. From here you can see the vast blue of the sky, and the green line of the far shore, boxy houses and a bridge across the river, thronging with students from their school. She comes to a halt, just yards from him. He turns and sees her and she doesn't wait, but runs towards him and because there is no future, and maybe  no past, just now right now and nothing more, because of that, she doesn't stop, even as his arms encircle and lift her. She kisses him.

For once, there isn't awkward hesitation, or something unspoken, or a moment past. Not even the breadth of an excuse. There is honesty. An almost unbearable honesty.

And when he sets her down, her cheeks are wet and she can't think why.

The next thing she knows, they are walking, side by side, like they always do, except, this time, his fingers lace themselves between her own. She smiles and wipes her eyes on his sleeve. He pretends he doesn't notice.

"You gonna stay then?" he asks as they near the road.

Probably not for good. Probably not forever.

"For now," she says.
Submission for :iconichiruki-week: - day 7, 18th August.

Theme is OBSESSION.

Hmm, a little late? :o

Well, this one finishes off GREED and FEAR and, essentially turns them into a little trilogy.

Due to having so thoroughly missed the deadline, I had time to try out various ideas. I find it so hard to write these guys together. :) They are so good at sabotaging their own relationship! :o

Is it too quick? Idk. Short story is short. :(

However, many thanks to Joe M who suggested bringing Byakuya in and :iconwolf-speaker9: who gave me the heart of the story when I was struggling.

Bleach belongs to Kubo.
© 2012 - 2024 Djedra
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anifanatical's avatar
The way you write Byakuya always brings out the giggling fangirl I was several years ago. XD It's so much fun and he's always so lovable in your renditions.

I still have to finish Obsession.... <.<;;